Tomorrow I am going to a meeting at the church where I have been worshipping. During this meeting, I will learn more about Methodism and the church and begin to make the decision on whether or not I will officially "join the church."
This is such a huge deal for me. I grew up Catholic. Everyone in my family is Catholic and Catholicism is a really big part of my history. I married a devout Catholic and baptized my four children in the Catholic church. But for a long time I have felt that it is not who I really am. Over the past several years I have gradually felt more and more lost within the Catholic church. Although the familiarity was comforting, I was feeling more and more isolated. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would enter my heart and show me what to do. I kept waiting and waiting.
Tucker and I went through a major adjustment period about a year ago. It was a time where we both had to take a serious look at who we were, and who we wanted to be. Hiding behind what was comfortable had to be put aside to find what was authentic. It was during this time that I began attending a non-Catholic church -alone. My life began to change. My marriage began to change. Most importantly my heart began to change. This was the work of the Holy Spirit. This was the answer to my prayers.
Although, me attending this new church meant a division on Sunday mornings at my house. Tucker and some of the kids would go to one church and I and the rest of the kids would go to another. It was not an easy choice, but it was without a doubt the right choice.
I have taken this past year slowly. I have not denounced my Catholic roots (nor will I ever). I have not claimed to be Methodist. I have just begun to build my heart back up, and learn to truly love the Lord once again. I am at the point now, where I think I am ready to take the next step and fully embrace my new spiritual home.
I thank God for so much. I thank Him for giving me an understanding and supportive husband. I thank Him for giving me the courage to branch away from what was "easy." But most of all I thank Him for making His presence so available and abundant; to allow me to learn and love in a way I never thought I could; and to carry me when I was to weary too try and find my way by myself. I really think I am on the right track now. I am excited to meet the new me.
