Waking Up

We revere Sleeping Beauty for the fairy tale ending she embraces after her prince gives her the kiss that awakens her. There she slept, beautifully incoherent,  until one day, when the stars were aligned perfectly,and he came to kiss her tenderly as she awoke.  Her life begun at that moment, but her sole involvement in her own  rebirth was  to be beautiful enough to be kissed.

Silly princess.  Get it together, girl.

If only our awakenings could happen so seamlessly.

Life is not a fairy tale, it is a journey that cannot be taken while we sleep or be replaced by a kiss, however passionate.


In my darkest days; those moments when my eyes were first adjusting to the blaring light of the new day, I became fond of the song by Avicii entitled "Wake Me Up."

                So wake me up when it's all over
                When I'm wiser and I'm older
                All this time I was finding myself
                And I didn't know I was lost

I knew in my trampled heart that I was lost and had been for an eternity.  I knew that the only hope for myself and babies was to navigate through the torrential downpour- but I didn't want to.  I was not excited about that challenges I faced nor the new opportunities that awaited me.  In bed I would lay and dream that somehow I would awaken in the morning to a picture perfect and put together existence. The song is nothing more than a fairytale.

I am waking up.  It has been terrifying and exhilarating.

I have been reintroduced to my soul.  I have embraced and celebrated the beauty within my heart that I forgot existed, and I have critiqued and chided the ugliness that remains and must be rehabilitated.  I am stepping cautiously onto unfamiliar soil, acknowledging my missteps and finding shelter in new surroundings.

I could not go back to sleep now if I tried.

The path to wherever it is that I am headed is frought with hazards and uncertainty, but the hidden treasures nestled beneath the rocks are all  the reassurance I need to know that waking up and continuing on my journey, is absolutely the greatest gift that I can give myself.

Aurora, you were awaken by true love's kiss.

I have been awaken by truth.

You Don't Know You're Beautiful

I am sorry that you do not know.
You are beautiful.

No matter how shiny the wrapping or large the bow, when one receives a gift, they peel through the outer layer to see what is hidden inside. I evaluate the beauty of a person this very way. Truly.

I recently saw the lamentations of a friend discussing the unattainable goals of societal beauty.  There I sat, with a road map of stretch marks spanning my belly, and a mop of frizz coiffing my head, knowing I am far from the social standards of beauty but feeling peaceful and beautiful in myself.  I am not  just the untamed mane or scars of skin stretched too fast during pregnancy.  I am more than my uniquely Jewish nose, pink skin and crows feet. I am the gift inside the imperfect wrapping.  I am a lifetime of brokenness and dreams.  I am poetry and humor and song.  I am compassion and knowledge and love. I am beautiful, as I am.

Inside every physical body is housed the character of the person who inhabits it.  This character; this soul is where genuine beauty is found or lost. The ability one may possess to make another laugh with unbridled vigor is far more necessary to sustain attraction than is a set of perfectly straightened teeth.  Youthful good looks and symmetrical features matter not in a person who proves themselves habitually to be unkind, disloyal and quick to anger.

It is my hope for you, my friend, that you see the beauty that others see in you.  You are beautiful in your compassion for others, your impeccable comedic timing and the spirit in which you view the world.  Your heart for the shared world lights up the wrapping that you are contained within.

Be so very confident in your beauty.