I'm a 40 year old work in progress; a one step forward, two steps back kind of girl. Every day I wake up realizing I have indeed made it to a new morning and this life that I have been plopped in the middle of, is still my world to navigate through. In the flurry of movement sometimes I must accept that the endless activity is no more than futile attempts to gain ground but sometimes I learn that, I am, in fact going forward.
I purport to know very little. Truly. I am a second guesser and skeptic in most things. I am deeply committed to self doubt, somewhat committed to self loathing and on the fence about just about all else, however, I have had real and beautiful observations of the world in which I live and I hang onto those observations as the life preserver that they are for me in the tumultuous waters that I struggle each day not to drown in.
So folks, here is what I know-
We all have those "crunchy bits" of who we are tucked within our jovial, shiny wrapping, that have a tendency to come out and poke us when we are least ready to deal with them. We are the sum of all of the parts of our life experiences, crunchy or not, and it is that very totality that makes us wondrous and beautiful. Without our less palatable pieces, we are nothing more than pleasant cookie cutter cyborgs with no mystery and no depth. Attempting to whitewash away the imperfections in our characters and our lives, is really kind of silly. Own the crunchy bits, accept them, and love the people in your life with more of their fair share of their own crunchy bits, because God knows they need it.
That being said, at some point we all need to endeavor to be greater than we currently are, and in that, our desire should be to attempt to soften out the sharp edges of who we are. To be a completely whole person, we must strive towards that wholeness and not simply wallow in our flaws and misery like a mutant pig bathing in septic sludge. Today we are broken, tomorrow we will be less so, and perhaps, in time to come we can begin to resemble an illusion of patched together wholeness if we squint our eyes just right and tilt our head towards the sun. So we continue on.
I am an absolute expert at imperfection, and I am more than grateful for the people in my life who continue to love me and support my heart, mind and soul despite that fact. In turn, I want to be that steadfast person to my fellow crunchy-bitted people. In me, you will always have a rallying fan.
Until.
Love can happen in silence and distance.
Peace.
