I used to believe ignorance truly was bliss.
What you don't know can't hurt you, right?
I was so wrong.

I want to be a good person. I want to be a Christ-like person. Most people who know me probably would describe as funny or crazy but probably not Christ-like. But the people who know me well; who know my heart, understand that despite my many many flaws, I want to be a GOOD person; the kind of person that is often not really easy to be.

I have been told that if you pray for patience, God will give you something to challenge your patience. I never understood this before. I do now.

I have often heard that to be a really good artist or musician you must have a gritty life history, for it is this history that you tap into to create depth in your masterpieces. I wonder if the same isn't true for growing close to God. Although I recognize that God allows everyone into His fold, it seems to be the unimanginable sufferings that people go through that solidifies or destroys their need for Christ in their life. I have always desired a close relationship with Christ. However, as the grit of life seems to be mercilessly pummelling me lately, I am convinced now more than ever, that the only way through is through Jesus Christ.

I prayed for a close relationship with God, and I have been given something that challenges that relationship. But I choose God. I come to Him as a completely lost and vulnerable person and put all my trust in Him.

There really aren't any other options.