The Incarnation of Who They Are: Part 1- Emily Taylor

It was requested to me that I share how the Hearnlets came to possess their names. Of course, as with most mothers, I do not need any prodding in talking endlessly about any details of my children's lives, however I will spare the very personal. (Who am I kidding? I'm sure it will ALL come out eventually!!)
So here we go. Hearnlet #1

Emily Taylor

There was never a question with any of my pregnancies if we would find out the sex. Some people enjoy the mystery of not knowing. Tucker and I were NOT those people. In fact pretty much as soon as the two lines showed up we began discussing names.
The semester prior to getting pregnant, Tucker and I took a Medieval Literature class together. Of all of the literature classes I have ever taken, it was by far my most favorite. (and probably most difficult for that matter) One of the major projects in the class was to read a tale of the Canterbury Tales, aloud in class, as it was originally written in Middle English. For those who may not be aware, Middle English resembles Modern English about as much as a horse resembles a Corvette. No, I'm not exaggerating. It's a completely different language, people; different pronunciation, different cadence, different everything. Ok, so we were each assigned a character from The Tales. After we read the original, we were to translate it into to Modern English. I was one of the last of our class of 10 or 12 to present, so I had the unenviable pleasure of watching my Lit professor systematically discard my fellow classmates one by one in a trash heap, if he was unimpressed with their work. Gulp. Somehow, I made it through with a "good job, Caroline" and an A on the project. Not really sure how that happened, but was for sure one of my crowning achievements. Consequently, it was then I realized if my baby was a boy he would be named Geoffrey Rollins. ( Geoffrey for Chaucer and Rollins after Tucker's middle name) Great story, huh? I don't have a kid named Geoff, do I? Nope. Because...
It was a girl!!
Although, I felt like I had won the lottery when the ultrasound lady told me I was having a girl, the irony of having no clue what to name a girl was not lost on me. We were happy and settled with Geoffrey. Now what?
Ok, parents and future parents, the fact is you can screw up a kid with the wrong name. We all know it. We all know those kids who had to carry the weight of the name their parents thought at one point would be cute. The pressure- it's intense, man.
I, in my mind had an image that I wanted the name of my daughter to reflect. I wanted something sweet and feminine; classic and beautiful; strong and kind. Yeh, I know. It's a NAME, but as an English major, words are important to me, and certainly names carry with them strong associations and connotations.
Emily. It fit all my requirements. It just felt perfect and conjured up images of light blue gingham and eyelet lace. The middle name needed to be strong. Taylor. My grandmother's parents had died when she was a child, and she was adopted by her mother's twin sister and her husband- the Taylors.
Emily Taylor.
Beautiful and strong. Perfect for my girl.

Best Friends

I think the greatest gift that I have given my kids is the gift of each other. Emily is 3 1/2 years older than Lou. After almost 3 years, Charlie was born, and 3 1/2 years later came Patch. For 10 years I had babies. I always knew I wanted more than one child but how many and the time span in which they were to be born was something I just never really thought about. I just kinda "knew" when it was time to start trying for another. Thankfully, pregnancy came extremely quick for me. (although some might say too quick in the case of that first one. ahem.)
When we decided to try for a baby after Emily, I prayed she would have a sister. Of course, the visions of two beautiful girls dressed prissily in matching frocks polluted my mind, but my overwhelming desire was to "grow" a best friend for Emily. Tucker was of like mind, although everyone just assumed he wanted a boy. He still talks about how annoyed he was when people used to comment on how disappointed he must be that it was another girl! Emily loved her baby sister from the moment she found out she was on her way. Although they have the occasional sibling squabble, they truly are best friends. They are together most of the time and understand one another like no other.
When we decided to have our fourth, which literally was a split moment decision, I thought how fabulous it would be for Charlie to have what Lou and Em have! The girls loved Charlie, but it was undeniable the bond that they shared as sisters. Could having a brother be just as wonderful to my son? Ironically, we were told very early on in my fourth pregnancy that we were expecting a girl. We were happy, but disappointed Charlie would miss out on having a brother. (surely no more Hearnlets after 4!!) For weeks we referred to the baby growing inside me as Clara, and mentally prepared ourselves for little girl #3. However, during a routine ultrasound it was confirmed that this last little baby was in fact a boy! Our little girl had grown a winkie!!
Charlie and Patch are to each other what Lou and Em are. They understand one another in a way no one else does. They are "bubbies" and they are best friends. They have each other now and will forever.
I know I had no hand in my children's birth order, but I marvel at God's perfection. He gave my children each other in the most perfect ways imaginable. They are better people for having each other and I am so very thankful.

Bitty Baby Growing Up

I was just a baby when Emily was born. Many 20 year olds are mature and wise. I was not one of them. All I knew about babies was what I learned from playing with dolls. But Emily taught me a lot.

In the early years of our marriage, and when Emily was an infant, Tucker was still in college and worked all of the time. My bitty baby and I had to make it on our own. We traveled everywhere together, and I soon was filling our days with play dates, library story times and trips to the park. Everything I did revolved around her and she thanked me by being the easiest and most mild mannered baby in the world.

I spent money we did not have on color coordinated bows and little ruffly socks. She had short curly blond hair that would bounce around her head as she moved and a smile that could draw the attention of strangers from across the room. She very simply was a beautiful child. I loved being her mommy. It was more fun than I could ever imagine it would be.

Because I was such a young mom, I remembered so vividly my childhood. I put all of my focus on duplicating what had been pleasant and avoiding at all costs the things that could cause her hurt. I was determined to be the best mommy ever. I was going to give my bitty baby the best life ever!

Over the years Ems and I have stayed uniquely close. We have always had a very open dialog and I have made it clear to her that no matter what, she will always be my baby and I will always love her. We have made each other angry at times but it never takes long for the offending party to come to the other with an unsolicited apology. She has shared with me that some of her friends had very strained relationships with their parents and that she was so thankful for Tucker and I. Everyone has warned me that once she became a teenager, our happily ever after connection would end, but I was convinced that Emily and I would be different.

Now my bitty baby is 13. Just hearing myself say that puts a knot in my stomach. 13. My little girl with the matching bows and bouncy hair, is suddenly a lean, beautiful independent thinking young woman. She fascinates me. As close as we are, she and I are so very different. She is extremely preppy and smart and organized; none of those qualities have ever been used to describe her mother. Still, she respects me and loves me the way I am, and I... well, I am in utter awe of her.

I know that there will come a time in her life where the apron strings will be cut. She may go away to school or even marry and move to another place one day. (gasp, gasp) The thought breaks my heart, although I know whatever decisions she makes for her self will be well thought out and prayed over; for that I am so thankful.

She is not a bitty baby anymore, but in my heart she always will be. She will always be the tiny little person who taught me how to mother and to give unselfishly. She will always be the first person to show me truly unconditional love. She really is the person who taught me most about myself.

We are still very close, despite the inevitable teenage angst. On occasion she will snuggle with me and we still talk about matters of the heart and mind, but it is becoming clear that she is able to rely on her old momma less. She has a core group of friends who are now her "go to people." Hanging out with mom is now not nearly as fun as it once was, and I hate to admit it, but I have gotten "the look" more than I care to recall. You all know the look in which I speak- the "You have got to be kidding me, you crazy monster from another planet look." Each time she shoots me "the look" I want to say, "but Ems, it's ME, remember?? Your momma, the one who you think knows everything and the person who you would rather be with than anyone else in the whole wide world! Remember??"

Yep, she is growing up, my bitty baby. I really couldn't be more proud of the person she is choosing to become. Oh, my sweet Emily. I am so proud and just a little heartbroken.

Friends Forever

I'm super duper lucky. I actually can "grow" my own friends. What a cool trick, huh?
Today Emily came home from school feeling just horrible. After two solid weeks of sick kids, I knew I couldn't risk not having her looked at so we called to see if she could be seen. To my surprise, they told us to come in at 7pm. Our amazing pediatricians office was offering extended hours because there had been so many sick kids!
After a long day, she and I headed back out to see what was going on. On the way there we talked about how her heart has grown since going through the confirmation process at church and how cool it was that we could now share shoes. She told me how some of the kids at school are really starting to create serious trouble for themselves, and I shared how shocked I was when I was her age and saw the same thing happen with kids I had known from an early age. When we finally got to the office we sat and we talked, laughing the entire time about nothing and everything. And once in the examining room, we talked and we talked and we talked some more. Even though we were there because she was sick, it almost felt like a special one on one girls night out!
After her appointment we ate dinner in the car while we were waiting for her prescription to be filled. The entire night should have been a chore for both of us really, but it was such a blessing.
Emily is still a kid and I need to remember that sometimes, but every day she is becoming more and more grown. Not only do I love her as my baby, but I am beginning to really appreciate her as a friend. Although she is very much her own person, she also possesses qualities of both Tucker and I which of course I am very much compatible with. It is just really cool to think that out of the love Tucker and I have for each other came this sweet, special person who is fast becoming one of my most respected friends.
There is a well known cliche that says that we pick our friends not our family. How special is it when we choose to have our family BE our friends!

Emily in Epworth

Emily went on a three day trip with her confirmation class to Epworth by the Sea (St. Simons Island) this weekend. She came home last night and other than being exhausted, I could tell she was very much touched by what she experienced.
When I decided to join the Methodist church, Tucker and I spent a long time discussing how we should proceed as a family. He is still very happy with Catholicism and together, we had to decide where our children's home church would be. After much discussion, we came to the mutual conclusion that right now the Methodist church where I attend has better programming for the kids than the Catholic church does. Emily, who had not had positive religious education experiences in the past was very wary to be put into a whole new situation. I prayed that she would find a welcoming and loving place where she could learn about Jesus as I had.
As it turns out, the Youth Pastor, and consequently Emily's Sunday School teacher is an old high school buddy of Tucker's. That was just another sign to us that she would be taken care of. In the past months, Emily has opened up a lot about what she has learned about Jesus and being a better Christian. She has developed a strong admiration for her Youth Pastor as well as her fellow confirmands. This whole experience for her has been nothing but completely positive.
I knew she was in good hands when she left on Friday, but I was still nervous to let her go. She called me each night that she was gone and I could tell she was having a great time. Last night when she got home, she showed me the zillion of pictures she took and talked non stop for about three hours until she finally completely crashed. Other than the typical silly 12 year old antics that were inevitable to happen, she really grew closer to the Lord. I am so proud of her and so thankful she had this opportunity.
One of the hardest things about being a mom is that you never get a report card. We never have those quarterly evaluations where we get called into some big office where we are told how we are doing in our jobs as mothers. Sometimes the only thing we can do is pray that we are making the right decisions as far as are kids are concerned. Listening to Em talk about how her heart had grown in Christ this weekend felt tantamount to a big thumbs up from the Boss. It is so nice to have this confirmation (with no pun intended) that we made the right choice for her.

My Emily

The other night I was reminiscing about the day Emily was born and someone asked me how I remembered all of that. My answer? I remember everything about the pregnancies and births of each of my kids. I ordinarily have an awful memory, but something about those times in my life has left indelible marks within me.
Emily turned 12 years old the other day. Twelve. That is a whole new realm. (sporadic heartbeats occurring) She is in middle school, has tons of friends, talks on her cell phone all of the time, and has an obsession with a certain Hollywood vampire. Pretty typical, really. She is a very well adjusted, happy 12 year old. But, she's twelve...
When I found out I was pregnant with her, I was an unmarried 20 year old with a less than stellar record. I was a really crazy kid. But the moment, sitting in the upstairs bathroom of my Grandma's house, when the two lines appeared, changed my life in an instant. I cherished the life that grew within me. I was thankful for the rescue of my life that it represented. I read every book I could read and prepared in every way possible for this new little person. Tucker and I were married and began our lives as young, completely naive, children playing adults. Overnight we grew up. The transformation was immediate, and enormous. There was no other option.
Emily was born on the coldest day of the year. Perhaps God's way of shaking us awake and saying, "Here you go, get ready!" There was our Emily. More beautiful than anyone could have ever imagined. Everything I knew about life up until that point was suddenly void. All that matter was this angel squirrming in my arms.
Now she is 12. Twelve! How has it been twelve years? It feels like one of those movies where they fast forward a decade in the next clip. I watched her grow into the beautiful young woman (breathe in, breathe out) that she is, yet somehow, I feel as though I just brought her home from the hospital.
It is inevitable that our little chicks grow up and fly away. People have been telling me that since the beginning. I just can not fathom that one day that means that that precious, little newborn will be off in the world without me.

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes

This will go down in history as the summer we changed everything. Well, hopefully not everything, but we are doing a whole lot of home improvements. In addition to the kitchen remodel, we have hired a landscaping company to clear out and grade the backyard. It was a collection of massive over growth, and it will be so nice when there will be such room for the kids to run around!! To get the job done, the landscaper has brought in 2 giant, tractory-looking machines. I'm not sure what they are, but the kids sure were excited to see that they had been left behind after the workers called it a day. All 4 kids enjoyed hopping up inside for photo-ops. (Although, I'm quite sure that was not why they were left!!)

A Quick Brag

Yesterday Tucker was outside doing yard work while I ran errands. He decided it would be a good idea to encourage the kids to help and maybe earn a little extra money. The task at hand was to dig up Monkey Grass from the back yard, separate it, and plant it around our front natural area. Quite an arduous task, indeed. About 2 hours into the morning I receive a call on my cell phone from Elizabeth saying Daddy has cut his hand and it is bleeding very bad. So when I got home I cleaned and bandaged Tucker's wounded paw, and put him on yard work restriction. He had wanted to go back out and finish, but we both felt like his wound, which wasn't too pretty, would do much better to rest.
Here comes the brag...
Emily and Elizabeth spent the next 2 1/2 hours finishing the job. They weren't told to keep going after Daddy came in, they just did. Not only did they do the lion's share of the work, but they did a really good job. Everything was spaced beautifully and planted very well. When they were finished, they were beaming with pride. They were rewarded with dinner at the Olive Garden as well as being able to choose a new game from the used game store.
I say it ALL the time, and I know people are tired of hearing me say it, but my kids are awesome. They are really nice and thoughtful people. I am so thankful for them. Not just because they are my kids and "you have to say that about your kids," but because I am grateful for being able to know the people who they are becoming. It is because of them that I aspire to be a better person. There is a whole lot of hope for this world when you see such remarkable young people.

Graduating

It was an important month in the life of two little Hearns. Charlie graduated from preschool and Emily graduated from elementary school. Both of them will be going to brand new schools next year.
I really am so blessed that the schools my kids have gone to have been so great. Wynnton Preschool is such a loving and friendly enviorment. It is the ultimate "safe place" for parents to leave their little ones those first years. Not only is it such a warm place, but the kids really do learn so much there. I guess my love for the preschool is what drew ME there. I tell my kids all the time that I'm never going to graduate from preschool.
Britt David is the best kept secret in this town. (although, in recent years the secret has begun getting out) We enrolled Emily there kinda on a whim. Tucker's cousin worked there and it seemed like a good school. We didn't do the due diligence many parents do when looking into kindergartens. Boy, were we lucky. It has that same nurturing and comforting feel that Wynnton has. We have never had a teacher we haven't absolutely loved. The administration is amazing and knows every ones names. It is a tough school, and the kids who go there have to work very hard, but they get used to it and it becomes just who they are. Emily was so fond of Britt David she cried the whole last week of school. Fortunately for her, we will have a kid there until she is about 20, so she should have plenty of opportunities to go back for visits!!
It both cases these schools have really prepared the kids for the next step in their lives. My kids love school and love learning and I can't help but believe it comes from such great school experiences. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have not have had such positive beginnings. I hear all the time about how people hate the schools their kids go to, and I just shudder. We really are so lucky.
But, off they go. Emily to middle school and Charlie to kindergarten. I can not believe how fast the time goes. I am so proud of babies. (and they will ALWAYS be my babies)

Locks of Love

My greatest hope for my future, is that when my children are grown I can know that they are "good people." I know that is an incredibly vague statement, but it is truly my most chief dream. I know that if a person is good at their core, and they know that about themselves, so many other things fall into place. It is a lesson that as an adult I am still learning.
Everyday I hope that some tiny little piece of wisdom or hug or realization will enter their impressionable little minds to contribute to their "goodness." With this in mind, I know and accept that flaws are necessary and to be expected. I just want my little ones to grow into the best people they can be-- whatever that may mean for each of them.
I got perhaps a glimpse of some of that character building this past February, when 11 year old Emily cut 11 1/2 inches of her prized golden hair to be donated to children who for one reason or another lost their own hair. It was a goal she had had in mind for some time, although she was becoming increasingly attached to life as a spunky tween with long blond hair. I was beginning to wonder if she would ever be able to part with it!!
Sure enough, she went through with it. The pride she had in herself for following through in her years-long plan, flooded my heart. I saw what I hope was one in a long line of selfless acts that one of my children does for another. Because of my Emily, another child's life will be a little less difficult.