Still Truckin' Along

Still trucking along with my fabulous Brca2 positive self.  Without a doubt, as my surgeries get closer, my nerves becomes more frayed.  I have never doubted my decision in having the surgeries, but the realities are becoming less hypothetical.
In a moment of self empowerment, I decided to commission a special quilt to accompany me during my journey.  I have always been a blanket lover and the idea of a beautiful, bright cocoon seemed more than appropriate.  I traveled with an incredibly talented artist/quilt maker to a fabric store where we planned and plotted my "recovery blanket."  My requirements were that the fabrics be bright and random (as am I!) and that many different textures be incorporated throughout.  The resulting modge-podge was fantastical! Now, when I imagine the upcoming struggle, I also imagine this glorious blanket there to comfort and cheer me.  It is amazing to me how much this project has refocused my anxiety.

As things stand now, a complete hysterectomy is scheduled for June 3rd.  This surgery will be laproscopic and robot assisted.  (pretty star-trek, huh?) I should require no more than a one night hospital stay and a week of rest at home before I feel back to my wonderful Caroline self.  Although the ramifications of menopause seem somewhat daunting, I feel up to the challenge and truly hardly phased by this upcoming process.

But...then... comes...the MASTECTOMY...

Today I met with the breast surgeon who will be performing the operation.  I appreciated his candor and wit.  Nothing puts me more at ease then when I'm among people who are able to find humor and lightheartedness in overwhelming circumstances.  Although, he did not downplay the seriousness of the surgery, he certainly conveyed an aura of do-ability.  Of course, his job is only part of the northern hemisphere surgery. (My loving term for my breast surgeries)  I am to see the plastic surgeon next week.  The vast majority of my prophylactic surgery-related anxiety comes from the process of reconstruction.  Seriously, folks, some of the procedures seem a bit barbaric, but I digress.  Once I meet with the plastic surgeon, my mastectomy with reconstruction surgery will be scheduled.  (The current plan is to have it done within the month of June, as well) This surgery, of course, will require a longer hospital stay with a more intensive at home recovery.  Oh, my Jesus.  This is where I begin to hyperventilate.

Nothing worth fighting for comes easily.  This will be no exception, however, once my surgeries are complete my risk of the female cancers associated with my  deleterious genetic mutation will be almost negligible.  This is why I'm fighting.  I grew up knowing how cancer has plagued the women in my family.  I have listened to the heartache in my Aunt Adele's lover's voice as he described her final years struggling with ovarian cancer.  I have prayed for and with my Aunt Isabelle as she now is fighting this deadly disease.  Because they have suffered, I can be saved, and for this I fight and thank God for the opportunity to do so.